Promises.

It's that time of the year again. The end. And the imminent beginning of a new one. It's time for us to start making promises to ourselves. (And feel rotten for not keeping the ones we made earlier this year.)

I've never made new year resolutions but since 2011 proved to be such a blow to my confidence and self-esteem, I think goals need to be set to make sure I am back on track and progressing gracefully. Here are my 2012 resolutions.



Be nicer, be smarter, be stronger, be prettier.


I can get carried away saying spiteful things about people. Sometimes I make the worse assumptions out of something so small. I'm also very temperamental and I need to curb my anger better.

I think I've neglected gaining knowledge ever since I got my dreams shot down by an academician I used to look up to. He turned out to be a sort of academic egomaniac who'd only entertain those with the potential to be his puppets. My research goal did not fit his idea of academic progress and so he shot it down and refused to be open about it. It really got to my confidence. I felt like my dream is too big and nobody is there to support my climb. 

And then a mistake of a relationship happened right when I was distraught and worried about my dreams and future. I let go of my passion for knowledge. I let go of my believes. I did not think straight. I think I refused to think much and just feel, which is stupid and weak. Never again.

Also, don't let somebody use your physical insecurities to play with your heart and mind. I'm done with feeling ugly and shabby and fat. 

At least 20 non-fiction books must be consumed.

Unfortunately, I am very slow at reading non-fictions. That is not good. Reading books other than fiction will help me be smarter.

Tawbah, Tawakal, Sabar. Repeat daily.

Repent all the time, trust Him all the time and face everything that comes my way with more grace. Talk to Him all the time. And be more patient.

Write something daily. Draw something daily.

I need to write at least a paragraph daily, be it in this blog or in a journal. I do not want to lose my writing skill. It could be about anything. Just write.

And draw or doodle. Keep drawing because I love lines and colours, pens and papers. Do it because you need to always give attention to what you love, right?

So here's hoping I keep promises to myself and insyaAllah. :)