Why I Am Single At The Age of 27.

I'm actually vain enough to think I'm pretty in some eyes. No, I'm actually pretty enough to be called pretty by some guys. (Thank you.) But why am I still single at the age of 27?

You might notice from my photo that I am a hijabi. (That's just a shorter term for someone who wears the hijab.) So I really don't know who invented the stereotype that all Malay girls who wear the hijab are a certain kind of girl. The kind who'd be docile and has a pliable personality. The kind that most Malay men would gladly take under their armpits and be made to follow their every whim. The kind that I am (obviously) not.

It irks me that for the 10 years I've worn my hijab, I've only attracted a certain kind of men. Malay men with Malay ideologies of what a good woman is supposed to be like.

Apparently having opinions are bad. It makes me controlling, even though all I did was voice my principles, not impose my ideas on them. I don't force them to follow my way of thinking, I only demand to be heard. But obviously to be heard means to be obeyed for these men. Funny. Psychologically, I'm pretty sure that just proves that they want me to obey and follow their ideologies. Kena hidung kau balik.

Apparently living in Damansara and being 'anak datuk'  means I do not eat at mamak stall, I roll around with a driver, I shop at expensive branded outlets and I have never stepped into 'dunia orang biasa'. It also meant my kampung is not a kampung, I can't possibly know how to eat with my hands and, well, I basically epitomise the whole stereotype of an 'anak datuk' you see in shallow Malay movies or read in shallow Malay novels (written mostly by girls who have never been to Damansara or know any real 'anak datuk'.)

Whatever I say, it won't erase these preconceived ideas those stupid Malay men have of me. Yes. All of them are Malay. Only they are stubborn enough to still believe in their idea of who I am even after dating me for 3-6 months. Heck, they even try to change me, or hope that I'd change enough for them.

However, I'm not saying all men are like these bunch of idiots. No. Some are incredibly understanding and quick to gather that I am really just like any of their other girl friends but with hijab on. The hijab does not stop me from reading books, having interests, getting ideas or living a life. And being an 'anak datuk' does not stop me from loving budu and ulam, speaking fluent Kelantanese every time I go back to kampung (or just hanging out with my family at home) and frequenting mamaks where cute stray cats jump onto my lap knowingly.

I'm not unique and different. There are many girls like me. It just so happens that they don't wear the hijab or hang out in a very Malay clan right out of a shallow Malay movie.




I haven't answered the topic at hand. I think it's partially because of how my hijab and racial features attract the kind of guys I just described. It's also because I really don't like the kind of guys I attract. And most saddening is how the guys I am attracted to don't go for girls like me. Or they would if I'm not wearing a hijab.

No, my hijab is not the problem. People's perception are. The hijab is worn so that people will not judge from appearance but unfortunately they still do.