I see you everywhere.

I think, for most of us, what we find attractive is really a sort of familiarity because it evokes fond memories of peaceful times. Also, familiarity is a consistency and consistency shows stability. We are attracted to familiar faces because, in love, we crave nothing more than stability.

But we didn’t stop to think if it’ll hurt to see the faces that remind us of the ones that didn’t work out.

Sunday Breakfast Club

I've had the best childhood because of my neighbours. Somehow, especially after high school and entering uni, we drifted apart, which is strange seeing that we literally live in a row and only a fence away from the next house.

Have to thank twitter, though. Setting up a breakfast get-together got even easier because of instant updates. We should do this more often. :)

Here are yours truly, my sister Afi, Kak Ima, Nayya and Shahida. Kak Tisha was supposed to join us but she hit the snooze button. :(

 Photos stolen from Kak Ima's facebook album. ;)

Give it up.

I'm so sorry.
I'm so so sorry.


But maybe. Quite possibly.
I am supposed to give up on waiting for something that's never promised for me.

I've been crying at intervals for the past couple of days. I'm trying to come to terms. There are people fated to be found and there are people fated to be alone. The strength is leaving me. I have more reasons to stop believing in a love out there for me. I'm 27 years old and all the relationships I had never lasted longer than a year and I had to change myself, sometimes entirely, to fit another person's ideal. I am always the one to make the first moves. I detected their desires and I changed accordingly and lived a lie, knowing deep inside that one day they'd leave me.

So what gives me the right to believe that there is someone out there who'd love and accept me entirely when that has never happened in my whole life?

What gives me the right to believe that I deserve to be loved?

Stupid girl.

Stop being so stupid.

Give up already. Give up and move on.

Logo Design for a client.

These are the first 3 proposals I came up with for a client's new brand.

I like to ask the client for their own choice of objects or concept before getting inspired and coming up with something that meets their criteria with my style and touches.

So mean.

I get it but you don't have to be so mean.
They don't have to be people who are close to me.
They can be strangers.

You know that little match-girl story? I am that girl and you are every single match I light up to get some warmth from. But in your light, you dream of something far far better than me.

I get it and you don't have to be so mean.

After the Pre-Marriage Course.

I attended a pre-marriage course this weekend in TTDI. I'm not getting married any time soon (I think) because I was there to accompany my friend. Her fiancé has already attended the course so I, as usual, am the chosen one to accompany someone's fiancée or wife. (Seriously, leave your girlfriend, fiancée or wife to me and don't worry. I make sure she has a good time without another man. *wriggle eyebrows* I can get testimonials.)

I don't have to gab about what the talks in this course is all about. Go take it yourself. The certificate lasts for a lifetime, although I'm pretty sure a woman kinda has her "expiry date". God knows. :P

But this is what I learned about the young Malay Muslim couples (soon to be young newly-weds):

1 ) Most guys' reason for marriage is to "menghalalkan yang haram dan mendapat kepuasan". And oh how excitedly they admit this.

2) Most girls know the price of gold per 100g. And they want Prada. And SKII.

3) Most couples were shocked to learn that the cost for marriage is roughly RM30000 above.

4) Most guys think it's exciting when the ustaz / ustazah talk about polygamy... and they're not even married yet to the fiancées they accompany to the course.

5) Most girls don't even know that your husbands demands and words are rules and the biggest sin is to go against his wishes. And yes, oral sex must be done to satisfy your husband if you're having your menses.

So in conclusion, most couples don't even realise how big a step they're taking in life AND the hereafter. We Muslims don't say "till death do us part". No. Marriage is a bond that transcends death.

Marry the one you want to enter Jannah with, not the one you want to enter the bedroom with.

Strange.

It is strange how the only one who has never given up on me is that one person I never got to have. It is strange how the only one who came to rescue me is the one who've broken my heart the most in the past. It is strange how the only one who thinks I'd make a great wife is the one who is not in love with me.

It is strange how I feel more loved and cared for by this person than by any of those who has ever said those "I love you"s and "I will marry you"s to me.

The absence of promises and lies. The baring of souls between two people who has no secrets left to keep from each other. I think we must've gone through all kinds of deal-breakers in our friendship but no dent is made.

Strange how we can say we know each other so well , yet we know so little of each other's lives. We've never spoken to each other of our families, or our past loves in detail, or our childhood memories.

If by any chance he might stumble upon this and read and recognise himself in these words, I have always had a soft spot for you ever since we first met. I don't know why. I tried not to but it's fated that our paths cross ever so often, we pick up things as if there were no time between our last.

Whatever happens in our future, you know I'll always have your back and I know you're never far away. You are a friend that I care deeply for.