The calendars are printed!

The calendars are printed on ivory textured paper 220gsm. You can hang them up on the wall like how I did or paste them or pin them or however you can think of. :D

You can order them for RM60 a set (free postage in Peninsular Malaysia) by sending me an email here : xeem.noor@gmail.com

Let's take a walk through the corridors with music.

Calling architecture enthusiasts and appreciators.

I have this idea. Let's choose a building and each have a set of songs / playlist to listen to while we 'experience' the building. I bet the music would influence the paths we choose, the views we notice and the details we admire. Write or sketch the observations made while still influenced by the music.

"Add the present influences of space & music to the past influences of background & lifestyle. Subjectivity in architectural appreciation." I tweeted just now.

It would be an interesting project, won't it? Documenting how differences in immediate influences and subconscious influences shape our perception. :)

So who's interested?

Desperation bordering on depression.

I can't sleep. Maybe it's a mild panic attack, I'm not sure. My heart is racing and all I can think of are how my future seem so blank and how I haven't achieved much in the past. And how I am pathetically stuck in the present, powerless and hopeless.

I think it's sinful to be this pitiful. It must be. This is all close to whining about life and fate. But really, who else is to be blamed but me?

I can't undo my past mistakes -- my wrong tactics, my failed strategies -- and all I can do is just shut up and listen to everybody pointing it out again and again to me. What am I supposed to say? Nothing. It's not like I don't know how I've failed and why I'm failing. And it's not like I can change what I did in the past. But that doesn't stop the voices of blame and it hurts even more when it comes from the people I depend on supporting me. I feel like I've failed as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend.

People always remind each other that their future is their own, be yourself, do what you want. It's not that easy. You have no idea how many people are affected by your decisions in life, how high their expectations of you are and how closely they observe your every step. At times, while you take your steps, you feel incredibly alone but once you reach a point -- of failure or of success -- the observers ambush you with their reaction -- of chastisement or of pride. But your journey is your own.

I am in desperation bordering on depression but I must be strong and do whatever I can within my power. There are some wrongs you cannot right -- this year has taught me that again and again -- and you have no choice but to trudge on and persevere.

My mother keeps pointing out that my mistake is for not sticking to one job for a long time. I know she's right. It shows my lack of commitment. I can't undo that. I can't defend myself about that. And I admit I am suffering the consequences but that should not stop me from sending out my resume like a cry for help right?

Currently, I have 30 active applications on job sites, 10 emails sent to magazines and an application to a PhD fellowship in Amsterdam. I will be sending out applications to more universities and jobs. This is all I can do within my power. This and pray and leave it to God.

Tawakal.

Colours and Lines.

I'm open for commission works right now.

Need a gift for a special someone (or even not so special someones)? Your wall looking bare and lonely without some colours and lines? Want some touch of illustration on your products?

Drop me an email at xeem.noor@gmail.com with your requirements and let's do business. ;)

Here's a WIP (work in progress) of a personally commissioned piece. (And my favourite pens inter-framing.)

Buy these ladies!

I'm selling these original drawings sized 125mm by 125mm on 220gsm paper for RM20 each. Drop a comment or email me at xeem.noor@gmail.com if interested. :D

Or check out my facebook page - Xeem Noor Art

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio *SOLD*

Sagittarius

Hajat

"May I, can I, or have I too often now craving miracles?"

Sometimes I think I am asking for something unattainable. All I can hope for is to deserve whatever comes.

Promises.

It's that time of the year again. The end. And the imminent beginning of a new one. It's time for us to start making promises to ourselves. (And feel rotten for not keeping the ones we made earlier this year.)

I've never made new year resolutions but since 2011 proved to be such a blow to my confidence and self-esteem, I think goals need to be set to make sure I am back on track and progressing gracefully. Here are my 2012 resolutions.



Be nicer, be smarter, be stronger, be prettier.


I can get carried away saying spiteful things about people. Sometimes I make the worse assumptions out of something so small. I'm also very temperamental and I need to curb my anger better.

I think I've neglected gaining knowledge ever since I got my dreams shot down by an academician I used to look up to. He turned out to be a sort of academic egomaniac who'd only entertain those with the potential to be his puppets. My research goal did not fit his idea of academic progress and so he shot it down and refused to be open about it. It really got to my confidence. I felt like my dream is too big and nobody is there to support my climb. 

And then a mistake of a relationship happened right when I was distraught and worried about my dreams and future. I let go of my passion for knowledge. I let go of my believes. I did not think straight. I think I refused to think much and just feel, which is stupid and weak. Never again.

Also, don't let somebody use your physical insecurities to play with your heart and mind. I'm done with feeling ugly and shabby and fat. 

At least 20 non-fiction books must be consumed.

Unfortunately, I am very slow at reading non-fictions. That is not good. Reading books other than fiction will help me be smarter.

Tawbah, Tawakal, Sabar. Repeat daily.

Repent all the time, trust Him all the time and face everything that comes my way with more grace. Talk to Him all the time. And be more patient.

Write something daily. Draw something daily.

I need to write at least a paragraph daily, be it in this blog or in a journal. I do not want to lose my writing skill. It could be about anything. Just write.

And draw or doodle. Keep drawing because I love lines and colours, pens and papers. Do it because you need to always give attention to what you love, right?

So here's hoping I keep promises to myself and insyaAllah. :)